Don’t want no short people

Don’t want no short people

I realise that I’m not very tall.

My view of the world
My view of the world: lots of nostrils.

OK, maybe that’s an understatement. More accurately, I am very short.

I mentioned the other day to some friends that, since wearing flat shoes, people can now “see how tall I am.” I have had more than one buddy raise their eyebrows at this statement and not-so-tactfully correct me with the phrase, “see how short you are, you mean.”

I am not the first person to face height prejudice, though, let’s face it, being short (as a girl at least) is awesome.

  1. I am never taller than my date.
  2. I never hit my head on things.

Despite this, IĀ  have a book at home entitled “How to increase your height”. It’s a thin blue number filled with exercises to make you taller and a whole chapter on why being short is such a terrible disadvantage (forgot the book at home today, will put in some lovely quotes tomorrow).

Prejudice against the vertically challenged is hardly a new thing. There’s even a song about it called “Short people got no reason to live” (song and lyrics below).

Before I leave you with this lovely melody, let me assure that short people do got a reason to live! I don’t know what it is yet, but by gosh it is there.

Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
To live

They got little hands
And little eyes
And they walk around
Tellin’ great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little fett

Well, I don’t want no Short People
Don’t want no Short People
Don’t want no Short People
Round here

Short People are just the same
As you and I
(A Fool Such As I)
All men are brothers
Until the day they die
(It’s A Wonderful World)

Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody
To love

They got little baby legs
And they stand so low
You got to pick ’em up
Just to say hello
They got little cars
That got beep, beep, beep
They got little voices
Goin’ peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds
They’re gonna get you every time
Well, I don’t want no Short People
Don’t want no Short People
Don’t want no Short People
‘Round here

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5 thoughts on “Don’t want no short people

  1. Haha, I love that song. A church choir sang it at the funeral of a guy who hated short people in one episode of Ally McBeal (season 1).

    Also, did you have to use the one photo in which my face is distorted like some sort of freakish freak-monster? How freakin’ dare you?!?

  2. Do you remember that it was your very tall favourite aunt who first played you that song?
    I love you, even if you are short and of course we all know dynamite comes in small packages. Plus there have been some really amazing short people in history, like Hitler and Napoleon

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