I think I am a Grown Up

I think I am a Grown Up

It was with sad resignation that I plucked my diary out of my handbag before making plans with a friend. I’ve crossed over. I’m no longer a child carelessly making plans, to be followed or not, without a care in the wind. I, my friend, am a Grown Up.

My grownupitude is sadly no longer in repute. Here are the signs:

  1. I have a live-in boyfriend
  2. I’m closer to 30 than 25 *sobs quietly into pillow*
  3. Loud bars and general LOUDNESS make me grit my teeth
  4. I’ve been heard to say ‘All I want to do is have a quiet dinner, why do people even bother going to clubs?’
  5. So much of workUntitled-3
  6. I am looking to BUY a property. (Before this, my biggest purchase was M.A.C. makeup.)
  7. Going out during the week is a daring adventure of Robinson Crusoe proportions Untitled-6
  8. I need Sundays to ‘recuperate’
  9. My boyfriend and I buy the Sunday newspaper … and read it
  10. My outfits are ranked by how formal they are instead of how hot they are (also: ‘Is this too much cleavage?’ is a PROBLEM and not a lovely solution to my problems)Untitled-7
  11. Instead of the debauchery of 21sts and awkward drunk family speeches, everyone is getting married and there are awkward, drunk family speeches at the wedding. Untitled-4Untitled-2
  12. All of my friends are having babiesbaby
  13. TAX
  14. I have to eat healthily and avoid alcohol or else my body gets all ‘What you been doing man! I didn’t want to make you miserable, but now I have to!’Untitled-5

 

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