Charlie Sheen is bat shit crazy

Charlie Sheen, star of the worst TV show ever – Two and a Half Men (bizarrely rated as number one: why? That kid annoys the crap out of me, and Sheen is wearing shorts the whole time) is bat shit, mother-trucking INSANE. Or just super high on coke. Or maybe both?

His quotes, taken from two interviews (one with Good Morning America and the other the Today show) are awesome in their narcissistic lunacy.

My personal favourite:

“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

One blog even has pictures of cats quoting Charlie Sheen:

Another site has Sheen quotes set to cartoons.

As my favourite snide celebrity site says: “He didn’t say how he got to the interview all the way from Fantasyland, but I assume he rode there on a griffin, because the highlight was him saying that CBS owes him an apology, “publicly, while licking my feet”, and him going into great detail about how much he loves drugs, but that he would consider going back to work on Two and a Half Men, if he got a raise from $1.8 million an episode to 3 million, PLUS a 20 million dollar signing bonus.”

Sheen’s madness is far more interesting than “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” (but not more interesting than Trevor Manual’s epic shut down of Jimmy Manyi, who said that there is a surplus of coloured people in Cape Town).

Also, dear old Charlie has somehow persuaded a whole lot of his lovers, wives and exes to join him in what can only be described as a harem.

Earlier this month he was in the dog box for locking a prostitute up in a bathroom. (Who would have thought that that’s not totally OK?) Basically, he’s a womaniser. A crazy, crazy, aggressive, coked up womaniser. That says hilarious shit.

AND he joined twitter today! Sheen already has 728, 301 followers. That’s like half of Swaziland. Bat shit crazy is the new black.