I found my dream man

I found my dream man

He’s a perfect composition of my favourite things:

  • dimples
  • dry wit
  • intelligence
  • an Irish accent
  • dimples
  • great sense of humour
  • ironic view of the world
  • AND DIMPLES! With an Irish accent. An IRISH ACCENT. That’s like the auditory version of being covered in chocolate.

It would be even more perfect if he didn’t have a wife.

And if we could meet one day.
Read more

The worst pick-up line ever

The worst pick-up line ever

This blog post also appears on the Fairlady site.

This weekend proved conclusively that I wouldn’t make a good spy. It also reminded me not to drink cocktails on an empty stomach.

Let’s just say that my tact, subtlety and wit find me an atrocious companion when fishing maraschino cherries from my cocktail, and abandon me to my own, poor, devices while they find peace and quiet somewhere else. I also become marginally louder (don’t believe what people tell you) and start swearing like a sailor when I’ve had a drink.

single scene Cape Town
Don’t be fooled by appearances.
These things are stronger than they look.

Read more

“On the other hand, you have different fingers.” ~ Steven Wright

“On the other hand, you have different fingers.” ~ Steven Wright

Five reasons to drink:

  1. Both sugar and sweetner will make you fat.
  2. A colleague described my desk as a “theatre of cruelty” after my beautiful birthday lilies started to die of thirst – all the water in the vase evaporated over the weekend. I also killed a pot plant last week.
  3. My computer has been making a dreadful whirrrrrrrrrrr ghrghghhgghghh whirrrrrrrrr noise for the past several weeks. I finally sent a vexed email to IT. IT guy came, looked at the computer for half a second and said, “It’s the fan.” Humiliation is mine.
  4. I never stop doing dishes. NEVER.
  5. I’m single. While most interpret that as a bad thing (hell, I do sometimes too) it actually means fun nights out with the girls… where we DRINK!
  6. BONUS REASON TO DRINK: Toxic waste will kill you and NOT turn you into a super hero. I know, right! WTF!

Toxic waste may cause harm